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It's Not WHAT You Say, It's HOW You Say It PDF Print E-mail
Written by Barbara Spear   
Tuesday, 12 September 2006

Many years ago professor S I Hayakawa wrote a book titled Language in Thought and Action . In his book, Hayakawa studies language and the way it affects listeners. Of particular interest are his chapters on the negative or positive impact some words can have. Whether you communicate orally or in writing, your audience hears and processes your words. You can win an audience with the right words, or lose them forever with the wrong ones.

Word Sounds

Nasty sounding words are abrasive to your audience. I mean that literally. The actual sound of certain words can startle a listener or grate on his ears. Abrasive words usually carry negative connotations too.

The mere sound of these words can cause a listener to think negative thoughts.

craCK

buZZ

sliCE

SCreeCH

GRind

RUSH

EXpeCT

The sounds of these words have a soothing and calming effect on listners.

PERfect

SMOOTH

SOFtly

HUMble

MURmur

You don’t need to be a linguistic scholar to hear the wake-up sounds in JAVA; or, the restful sounds of SLEEP. Unless you study language as deeply as Hayakawa did, you won’t be aware of all its subtle implications. You can, however, strive to be more aware of the words you use, as well as their sounds and connotations. Then, you can use those qualities to your advantage.

Use soothing or “Purr” words to calm your listener. Use harsh sounding “Snarl” words to get your listener’s attention.

Language Taboos

Every language and culture has words that are too powerful or embarrassing to speak. Words that pertain to parts of the anatomy, bodily functions, money, and illness, and death, are often taboo words. We substitute euphemisms for the precise words. Likewise, cuss words are forbidden, and vary by culture.

Euphemism Do’s and Don’ts

While some euphemisms are generally understood and almost required by social etiquette, others are more ad hoc creations that are subject to misinterpretation.

If you ask an American to direct you to the rest room, you’ll probably find the toilet you need. If you tell someone your uncle just passed-on, they’ll likely express sympathy at your loss, without your explaining that he died.

On the other hand, if you ask a client to, "please check your records," instead of saying, "your payment to me is overdue," your request might not get timely or desired results. Sometimes, euphemisms just don’t get the message across.

At the same time, ignoring taboos and being too precise can shock your listener, and cause them to develop a negative impression of you. "I don’t eat beans because they make me fart" may be true, but clients and co-workers would rather hear, "I prefer not to eat beans." Likewise, "Don’t make me laugh or I’ll pee" is a too-detailed threat. And please, don’t share the details of your last illness or surgery. Squeamish stomachs throughout the business community will be grateful for your restraint.

Cuss Words

It is never acceptable to swear or cuss during business communications. Never! Adopt an acceptable substitute and use it sparingly.

When someone sprinkles cuss words in every sentence, it shows that person has a limited vocabulary—and dilutes the impact of the cuss words.

That f*****g player should have made that f*****g play without any f*****g trouble" communicates the speaker’s opinion of the player’s incompetence; but, the listener must filter-out the repeated cuss words to get the message. The cuss words are distracting, and make the listener work harder to figure out the message.

Common words, spoken with emphasis, can communicate surprise or anger just as effectively as cuss words.

Unless you’re in the middle of baking, exclaiming, "Sugar!!!" communicates surprise or anger, depending upon the context, and tone of your voice. When the printer runs out of paper and you shout, "Sugar!," it’s unlikely that a co-worker will hand you a sugar bowl. Your listener will understand your sentiment, and appreciate your verbal restraint.

Effective business communication results when you know language taboos, use euphemisms or synonyms appropriately, and speak precisely when accurate communication counts. Persuasive business communication results when you  know the impact word sounds make on your listeners' ears, and use those sounds to underscore your message.

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